Vixen
by Saltbae
Summary: Who knew standing on top of something bigger than most buildings that moved and was unstable could be a dangerous idea? I sure didn't seem to think so. As you can guess it didn't end well for me. I died. Plus side to all of this? I got to be reborn as Naruto, but with boobs. Not to mention a very perverse mind. Welcome to the life that wasn't meant to exist. OC!Fem!Naruto
1. Teaser

Chapter 1

Teaser

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Trust me if I did there would be totally different pairings and probably some smut scenes with certain people since I'm a pervert. Still, the only character I own is the OC!Fem!Naruto. This story is something I'm writing in my free time and will have sporadic updates with odd word counts. This is something for me to work on while writing "Hell's Song: Heaven's Melody" since I can only update that after getting reviews._

 _This story is going to have a lot of perverted jokes and scenes, also it is to not be taken seriously. This story is for laughs when you're feeling down and is heavily inspired by Darkpetal16's many stories. Rated M just in case I add some...more eh scenes. If they are they might be underaged though so I will warn you guys beforehand._

 _Please enjoy and if you did don't forget to Follow, Favorite, and Review (Especially review I love those!)_

* * *

I'll start this story off by saying I am not smart. I don't make good decisions and most things end pretty badly. Still, I do them. They're fun. With this in mind, me dying young shouldn't be a shocker to anyone.

Adrenaline was an amazing thing to me and I did everything I could to experience it. This included climbing out of a Ferris Wheel when I was on top to take some pictures for the Yearbook at my high school, as the fair was right across the street.

I didn't tell anyone about my stupid stunt, so obviously, the people in charge of the Ferris Wheel hadn't anticipated someone would be stupid enough to do so. They obviously hadn't met me.

I won't lie, standing on top of the Ferris Wheel gave me the biggest adrenaline rush of my life. Probably because it was my last.

Who knew standing on top of something bigger than most buildings that moved and was unstable could be a dangerous idea? I sure didn't seem to think so. I took one step. Just one to help zoom in the front of my school with my camera from the scenic view I had. That was all it took. At the exact moment, I took a step the Ferris Wheel started again.

As you can guess it didn't end well for me. Good news? I got the picture. Bad news? I died. It was worth it though.

* * *

 _So as the chapter title goes this is a teaser chapter. Like just to give you a taste of what the character is like. I'm actually about to write the first official chapter right now. I hope you all enjoyed and don't be shy to review, follow, favorite, all that good stuff. Toodles~_


	2. Birth (Prologue)

Chapter 2

Birth

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Trust me if I did there would be totally different pairings and probably some smut scenes with certain people since I'm a pervert. Still, the only character I own is the OC!Fem!Naruto. This story is something I'm writing in my free time and will have sporadic updates with odd word counts. This is something for me to work on while writing "Hell's Song: Heaven's Melody" since I can only update that after getting reviews._

 _This story is going to have a lot of perverted jokes and scenes, also it is to not be taken seriously. This story is for laughs when you're feeling down and is heavily inspired by Darkpetal16's many stories. Rated M just in case I add some...more eh scenes. If they are they might be underaged though so I will warn you guys beforehand._

 _Please enjoy and if you did don't forget to Follow, Favorite, and Review (Especially review I love those!)_

* * *

Not going to lie, I don't remember anything after my fall. Literally nothing. No pain or anything. Probably died on impact or something. What I do remember though is when I finally came to it was in this warm, watery place with barely any light peeking into it at times. You know when you have a flashlight and put it on your finger and there's this weird orange glow to it, that was the only source of light I got.

There were also noises. Nothing I could actually make out as it was muffled and sounded like gibberish, but the voice itself was soothing.

The thing I didn't enjoy was the prodding. I wasn't exactly sure where I was but it felt like I was taking a long nap inside a warm blanket, so when people tried to poke me or put their hands on me, I was annoyed.

I couldn't exactly move very well, I assumed I was actually wrapped up in a blanket and was, therefore, immobile, but I could kick. So I did. Whenever there was a hand I would helplessly kick to get it away from me. It just wasn't right, when someone is taking a nap you do not touch them.

Common freaking sense.

Still being in there was a huge haze to me. I don't even know how long I was in there but it had been so comfortable I didn't even care. I didn't think about it at all. I just let it happen.

Then one day, on a day I was particularly buggy as everyone was prodding at me, I felt this odd sensation. Like I was being squished. It was not a pleasant feeling, especially since I had just found an extremely comfortable position in my makeshift bed.

The pushing only got worse then the muffled noises I could hear were going a bit haywire, but through the pain of my head being squished like a damn pimple, I didn't much _care_ about the other people. I cared about my head. Did I mention it was being squeezed? Yes, that was a thing that was happening.

Then I was hit by the bitter cold. Oh lord, it was something else. Imagine being in a nice warm cottage with the fireplace roaring in front of you, then suddenly you're dumped into a freezing lake completely naked. That's exactly how it felt and I was not happy. Not to mention I felt like I was drowning, helping out the theory someone dropped me into a frozen lake.

I'm not proud of it, but I'll admit I screamed bloody murder. Not only to clear my lungs but because I was not happy about being taken away from my relaxing haven. I had to die to get there, so why are they now taking it away from me? So unfair.

Then more things happened. A cold feeling on my stomach, then a sharp pain as though something foreign was entering me…and not in a fun way. It felt like my veins were on fire and it only amplified the screaming I was making. Seriously what did I do to get thrown into this hell hole? Was it because I used to sneak into the guy's locker room? If so, I regret nothing.

The pain started to ebb away, leaving me to just feeling a numbing pain as I laid there. I'm fairly sure I passed out because when I woke up next I was no longer wherever I had been but in a sterile-looking room.

'Is this a hospital…?' I wondered as I tried to move my head to the side and made a small noise with how annoyed I was. Then I heard it. The sound of an infant grunting. I made another noise. Then another. Soon I realized that the infant that was making annoying noises was _me_. Que more screaming, though this time in frustration. I was reborn and now got to spend who knows how long as a damn infant who can't wipe their own ass. Screw this.

It took me a full month before I stopped screaming every time I came to. I was in denial that I was a small person. A measly infant. No, I refused to believe it. That meant I'd have to go through puberty again and was not looking forward to it. Maybe if I was lucky I was reborn a boy this time around? No periods sounds like a pretty good deal, not to mention I could get into the boy's locker room whenever I wanted to and stare at their asses. Perfect.

With this in mind, I'm sure I threw my caretakers off a lot, as sometimes I'd burst into some cackling noises while thinking of all the things I could get away with. They would never suspect a thing.

Sadly, once again, fate had other plans. Other plans that were very cruel. I was born a female. A female that went by the name of Naruto.

Not going to lie the first time someone called me that I was excited. I thought they were talking about the anime that I had grown up watching with my older brother and sister. Reality hit me hard though when I realized they were calling _me_ that. It actually took longer than I'd like to admit.

My second thought was whoever my parents were had to be giant nerds to name their kid that. Who does that? Then it hit me. I had been taken to an orphanage of some sort (or so I assumed I couldn't do much in a crib), which meant I didn't have parents, and I was named Naruto. The real kicker? Some people wore headbands.

Another week of nonstop crying before I was finally able to accept the fact that I had been reborn as Naruto Uzumaki. That one kid from an anime that is always in extremely dangerous situations. It was very appealing. Not to mention if I was Naruto, I was a boy.

Wrong again. I was lacking a certain thing which led me to realize I was born as a female Naruto. Something most people would've figured out in the first couple of days of being alive if they had an adult mind that liked the show. I took about six months. I am not smart.

Well not smart in the sense that I couldn't formulate plans on comprehending things. Not smart as in, I didn't care if it was life threatening if I wanted to do I'd do it. Want me to lick that swing set? Hoe don't think for a second I won't do it if I really wanted to.

Still, as I laid in the crib at the orphanage, only being able to stare at the ceiling and barely move my small fingers, I made up my mind. I didn't like how the anime went on. I didn't like the pairings all that much either. Nor did I like all the people I enjoyed having to die horrible deaths.

If someone had plans with throwing an adrenaline junkie who was stubborn as all hell into a world filled destiny and ninjas…oh you know I was going to twist it until I liked what I saw. No matter who got in my way.

* * *

 _Okay, last short chapter as I hate writing short chapters but in all honesty didn't know how to make this go into the next scene I want to write so I'm cutting it off like the umbilical cord Naruto was attached to earlier in the chapter._

 _Also to the first people to review this story!_

 _TheBeauty: I don't think you realize just how stupid this story is going to get. Like this character is going to be smarter yet far more idiotic than Naruto ever was. I can assure you that it gets a lot worse. We have a stubborn adrenaline junkie on our hands and you know it won't end well._

 _ScepticalOne: Glad you're excited about the story and this will be a complete crack story but I still plan on doing my best in writing it **well** because I've noticed when most people make crack stories they just make it as bad as humanly possible and that's awesome and all but I like my crack stories to make sense in a weird way and just be funny. So that's the goal. Most things won't make sense and I plan on doing a lot of things to break the plotline but as long as readers know this story isn't to be taken seriously then it's all good!_


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